nature...

I used 4 different apps to make this pretty pic!

changes...

things change in life.  every moment, there is change.  in fact, the only thing constant is change.

as you can tell, i'm feeling philosophical.  

so we're losing people at work.  2 amazing developers, the best PM ever, and our now CTO.  our CTO (basically the boss of IT and VP of the company) has been our fearless leader, our champion, the guy who gets super excited to try new things.  the person who taught me that it's good to take risks, to "go big".  i didn't always agree with him, but i loved his excitement.

so now, i don't know what will happen.  my "dream job" is going to get rocky.  we're going to try and pull ourselves together, and find a new way to make things work.  

we're a start-up company, and this is life in a start-up.  things change rapidly.  things are risky.  we might fail.  or we might be a big success & my company stocks might be worth something.  who knows...

and that's the point.  no one knows.  these big changes, they always happen.  it's part of life.  i can only control my reactions, and my actions.  so my new work plan is this:

i am also going remember my motto:

how the dogs spent their morning...

sad gilly with the prized empty pill bottle, wondering when charlie was going to notice...

charlie playing it cool, pretending he doesn't care about the bottle...

but yeah, charlie steals the bottle and chews it on gilly's head...

then he drops it... 

and it lands on my foot! 

he swoops down and snatches the bottle and takes it into the hallway, where he won't have to share it with anyone...

now he's got the pill bottle all to himself... 

then he notices gilly back on the bed looking sad.... 

really sad! 

the saddest girl in the world...

so he's back and they played happily ever after!

my new hat!

i bought a hat at target.  tried it on in the store and thought it looked like this:

came home and realized it looked more like this:

hat fail!!!

something gross & something sweet...

this monster was in the parking lot at the gym.  he's so big that i noticed him in the dark (it was 5am).  of course i had to get a pic.  but... yuk!

sweet sleepy gilly.

dumb things i do on my iPad with free apps when i have insomnia...

things i saw today...

an amazing sunrise after my morning swim

my very lovely friend brought me homemade pickles and a jumbo cucumber

we spotted a mama deer and her 2 babies

so pretty!

out of my comfort zone...

i'm trying to take my own advice and try new things, take risks, and get out of my comfort zone.  not really just to lose more weight, but to prepare for upcoming major surgery.  i need to be in the best possible shape to make surgery go well.  it will also help me with recovery time.

so i'm trying to go to weight training classes at the gym.  i need muscles!

last night i roasted beets.  really strange tasting.  but good.  and a "super food", so i need to keep adding those to my list of foods.

i'm focused on less animal products and more plant based foods.  making good progress.  the world of vegetables is opening up to me!  beets are like beautiful works of art!!!

oh gosh, i'm turning into a hippie...

for my mom...

troublemaker!

this is a uterus.  not mine.  i snapped the pic at the doctor's office while i waited to hear my test results and course of action.

if you didn't know (and if you know me, you know) i've been having horrible problems with my "monthly lady time".  it's bad.  real bad.  so i've been through a ton of tests (not fun) and my doc has it all figured out.

and it's not cancer.  NOT CANCER is the best news ever.

but it is complicated.  a tiny little tumor (a wee 2 centimeters) is in a very bad spot, and it goes through the wall of my uterus.  so the easier options of ablation or simply removing the tumor aren't going to work.  and the monthly problems are only going to get worse.  i become more anemic each month.  i'm in more pain.  more bleeding.  you get the drift.

so it's a hysterectomy for me!

i was a little shocked that it's going to be major surgery and not a simple procedure.  the thought of being in a hospital for a few days is upsetting.  going under anesthesia is scary.  having an organ removed is serious.

but i want my life back.  no more 10 days a month of horrible cramps, not being able to do anything.  it's enough.  so this uterus needs to go.

quotes i love from people i dig...

art