July 1, 2005
a very insane and random conversation...
skullranch: hey, have you ever brought a fly back to life using salt?
jennifer c.: what???
jennifer c.: you kill a slug with salt.
skullranch: and you bring a fly back to life with it. I swear to GOD I used to do it as a kid, and I've got one on my desk buried in salt and if that thing wakes up everyone in this office will believe.
jennifer c.: wow, you are real bad nuts
skullranch: Jennifer, why won't she come back to life?
skullranch: well, this dead fly has backfired on me. everyone's making fun of me. I'LL SHOW THEM!
jennifer c.: oh god.....LMAO
skullranch: the thing won't wake up. I just threw it in the garbage. I actually found online the trick: the fly must die from drowning. then it's really not dead because there's oxygen in water, blah blah, the salt somehow dehydrates the fly and the electric in the salt kicks it into gear...
skullranch: so, as usual, I'm not crazy, but I'm not magic either :-( I got ripped off. Why didn't I realize we were always drowning the flies before waking them up?
jennifer c.: hahahaha!!! you are killing me today
skullranch: it's true, old Clem "Huge Cock-n-Balls" Hartly ruined my life with his science lies!!
jennifer c.: what? who???
skullranch: told us our intestines when unraveled would wrap around the world 3 times... bringing flies back to life... what a rip!
jennifer c.: oh god, i remember you used to fight about whether starting with cold water made things boil faster....
skullranch: CLEM HARTLY! that's who started that. I got in a fight about that with another coworker just last night.
skullranch: And I remember saying, "Clem, does that mean hot water freezes faster than cold..." He got mad and left the room, we watched him outside smoking cigarettes.
jennifer c.: he he he........crazy
skullranch: He was in a coma as a child and looked like Herman Munster.
jennifer c.: who was?
skullranch: Clem "Huge Cock-n-Balls" Hartley
jennifer c.: and who the hell is this clem person????
skullranch: My science teacher from 6th grade!
jennifer c.: why does he have that nickname?
skullranch: Because he loved the girls, and would sit on the edge of his desk and had to lift all his junk up before sitting right on the corner, then it would flop around. He was about 8 feet tall, deep set black eyes, huge head and club feet.
jennifer c.: david
jennifer c.: come on
jennifer c.: that's horrible.
skullranch: hey, that's science.