July 28, 2006

yesterday and today have been HORRIBLE. but this little film makes me giggle every time....

"the usual"

well, it finally happened today. the girl at the downtown starbucks asked me if i wanted my "usual". she confirmed my usual as; "an iced venti quad latte, nonfat w/sugar free vanilla". i almost wept from pure joy!!!! "yes, that's my usual!!! thank you kind coffee lady....... "

i've always wanted a usual. maybe it's from all the television i watched as a kid. i know the regular's at mel's diner on "alice" all had usuals. so now i guess i'm a regular with a usual!!!

the only problem with this is that i am spending over $4 a day on fancy coffee, and now that i have a usual, i am tempted to go back for my afternoon caffeine pick-me-up!

July 27, 2006

i am so excited, that boy i dig is teaching me to play bass guitar! it's so much fun and i've missed having a musical outlet. and check out this kick ass pink glitter bass!!!!!!!!
that damn zak!!!!!!!
the duchess & groundcat came up with a sitcom idea called, "that damn zak!!!" we worked on the theme song and the duchess graciously acted it out for the camera. as james lipton once said of gene hackman, i say of the duchess:

"lisa ann is able to live in the moment, which means there is nothing for her at that split second than what is occurring in the scene. simply brilliant.."

zak bought lisa roses.......

( that damn zak...)

zak won kareoke...

(that damn zak...)

zak made lisa dinner!!!!!

(that damn zak...)

zak drank a bunch of beer!!!!!

(that damn zak...)

what will he think of next??????

July 26, 2006

everything went really well at the dentist!!!!!!!!!!!! i even got a balloon for being so well-behaved.
update: here's a pic dan found online that reminded him of my photo above:

July 24, 2006

dear tooth fairy........
i fucking hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so yeah, i've got a toothache....and i realize how much i HATE going to the dentist. i mean, no one likes it (unless they are sickies...) but i'd rather have another colonoscopy, with no demerol and have it filmed for dateline NBC!!!!
what one of my bestest friends has helped me realize is that i have "dental anxiety". i never thought there was such a term, or a website to help! i've been terrified of the dentist since i was a kid, and as an adult i see that i can take a little control of the situation and let them know ahead of time that i am a nervous wreck!

July 21, 2006

stanhope in 08- drunk with power!!!

stanhope's website (if you don't have myspace)

stanhope's myspace page for the presidential campaign

i take this seriously. i know he's a comedian, but i really like his ideas about personal freedom. go this link to take a quiz and see where you fall politically. i fall completely into the libertarian catagory.

if you're too lazy to click the links, here's stanhope's official announcment:

"I've decided to run for the nomination of the Libertarian Party. (www.lp.org) Yes, I am very serious. Most of us know how completely screwed the system has become. Yet we shrug it off as something to deeply rooted to change. I'm tired of accepting what we have as the best we can do and yelling about it in barrooms and comedy clubs isn't going to force anyone's hand.

That is why I have decided to run for the office. If this country can buy Jesus and American Idol, I think we can sell them actual freedom and self-determination.

The campaign will focus on individual freedom, self-government and making America fun again. And this campaign, if goes as planned, will wreak an adreneline-fueled havoc across the land.

This planet belongs to you as much as it does anyone. It is your choice - not any government - to decide how you will live.

This is - at the moment - the most powerful country in the world which makes inexcusable the fact we have become so oppresive and boring at the same time.

I may not be the best possible candidate but I am the best one willing to run. Jump on the bandwagon. Win or lose, we are going to have a fantastic, bizarre and screaming ride towards the White House.

Please subscribe to the myspace blog for updates. You will be highly amused and hopefully greatly inspired between now and November, 2008."

i also recommend searching youtube for his version of the aristocrats, which is not only filthy and vile, but he tells it to a baby! ah hell, here's the link for that!

July 20, 2006

a new food poll......

ok, here's my question: on an "average" day, if you just stopped worrying about calories, caffeine intake, blood pressure, weight gain, or money, what would you eat?

i am having a day like that today, and i realize how bad my natural eating tendencies are.

my day of not caring menu:

breakfast: starbucks venti quad iced latte (w/skim and sugar free vanilla.) not bad as far as calories, but hard on the wallet. then some sort of bacon, egg & cheese breakfast sanGwich.

snack: "white lightning" frozen coffee drink from downstairs and bag of BBQ pork cracklings

lunch: hot dog and fries with a diet coke. lots of salt on the fries.

dinner: pepperoni & mushroom pizza from luigi's (in mentor) and a nice dark beer

snack: cookies

yes, is it any wonder i am.....what one would call........ rubenesque, zaftig, or chunk-style (ok, i made that one up!) i mean, there's not a fruit or vegtable to be found the entire damn day!!!

ok, time for me to go downstairs and buy lunch. the lean cuisines i bought at the grocery store last night sit in the freezer at home. oh yes, and there's birthday cake being served up at the 1pm meeting today. woo hoo!!!

July 19, 2006

i have a huge red zit on the end of my nose, and i am reminded of lady elaine fairchilde, from mr. rogers' neighborhood. she's was so mean!!! she hung out at that weird merry-go-round and she seemed to have a real attitude problem. also, the red nose seems to point to a drinking problem.
ok, i just did a google search, and she's got her own blog! click here to check it out.
fyi- i had the link wrong for the blog. it's been corrected so go check it out. her blog is actually using the same template as this one!!!

July 18, 2006

guest blog
i have successfully bossed a good friend (u.c. freak) to write an anonymus post, since my own blogging efforts have recently been deemed boring (since i got all happy and in LUV.) so enjoy the guest blog!

"I never set out to be weird. It was always the other people who called me weird."
-- Frank Zappa, to The Baltimore Sun, October 12, 1986

I want to know what is up with generation X? Where have we gone? We were named so because we were the generation not defined. We weren’t the conservative 50s, civil rights, hippies, the coke addicts of the 80s, and the grunge of the 90s. Yet we were all those things. My mother was a 50s housewife in the 70s and early eighties. I defy anyone 35-ish to say they do not have a picture of themselves as a small child with plaid pants. I embraced Model UN and think globally, act locally. I loved grunge and would love for flannel pants as daywear to come back.

But we are still undefined. I am undefined. I look at others who have a passion in life and know exactly what they want. I do not. I always wonder what I will be when I grow up, and how much more growing will I have? I will be in menopause before I decide.

How many people have a degree, or any post-secondary education (love that term), and have a job in no way related? It just seems I am too wishy-washy. I really do not care what happens. As long as I can do nothing and relax. After what? Sitting at a job all day. My father used to work 14 hour days lifting and carrying heavy trays, while my mom stayed at home, cooking and cleaning and raising 4 kids (one of which was me, so she may get double credit for that). I am tired if I have to go to the store after work.

Has anyone else ever thought if there were a war and we had to start from scratch (magically, I am always a survivor in this train of thought, so stay close to me when it happens), could I make it? I cannot even comprehend no TV, so how could I hunt and gather? What about my daily vitamins and bottled water, let alone living outside. I have recently vowed (my yearly vow) to never again live in a house without central air. I don’t think I am the roughing it kind.

Oddly, sometimes I think the people who really know, who have clearly defined goals and ideas, are the people who have kids. I don’t think marriage really matters, but if you are a good parent, you really have to figure out how to give completely to another person, who for several years has no idea you were created for anything else, except their care and happiness. Maybe that is how to define yourself. To be completely removed from you.

Now, before Jen has a fit, I am not saying everyone needs kids. I can see where it may be better to end certain lines of breeding, but is there something fundamentally different after kids?

Sorry this is all over the place, but so am I. Peace.
(-U.C. Freak 7/19/06)

July 17, 2006

how i spent my weekend......

i basically spent the weekend driving a truck (like this one) to philly and back with dan. it's about a 9 hour drive, give or take an extra hour for getting lost. we drove the truck to philly to help his sister ginny move home. it was exhausting, but so good to finally meet her. and i am excited to have her living in the area so i can get to know her.

so we survived the weekend in the penske truck. we didn't even attempt to kill each other and ended up laughing most of the last hour of the drive home.

oh yeah, i forgot about the cookies. here's is the cookie story, part II: in my stubborness, i decided to try another batch of cookies friday night. they turned out perfect and i frosted them too. they looked like something out of a magazine, and it worried me. before we left for philly i put some in a baggie to bring on the trip. when i went to get them out of my travel bag, they were crushed, some into almost a fine powder. i just looked at the bag of crumbs and said, "now THAT'S what my cookies should look like!" and all felt right in the world.

i am so NOT martha stewart, but i'm gonna try stacy's parchment paper idea the next time....

July 14, 2006

this makes me giggle for so many reason.............

July 13, 2006

yeah..........i ride the short bus...........
today is one of those days where everything i touch turns to absolute shit (see above pic.) just had a rough night last night, not a lot of sleep. work was crazy and my interview with EBM (evil boss man) was......odd.....(more on that later....)

so i stopped at the grocery for household stuff and thought it might be fun and relaxing to bake my boyfriend cookies. he likes cookies. and that's what "normal" girls do. i've seen them do it on tv, so i know!

like a retarded kid at christmas, i like to decorate the cookies in my own "special" way. i buy the pre-made roll, so all i have to do is slice and bake. i thought i'd add some fancy blue sprinkles. i tried slicing 1 sheet of cookies thinner then usual, so i would have more to decorate with the purple frosting i bought (like a retarded kid.)

i was going to explain how the disaster (pictured above) happened, but i think we should have a contest. guess how jennifer managed to screw up a batch of cookies so badly, and win.....a batch of cookies!!!
random stuff....

i realized today that, technically, i only have 1 pet left. zak has adopted all 4 of my cats (which is just amazing to me), so i guess it's just me and griffin. i am scheduling an appointment with a dog behavioralist to help me figure out how to work with griff so i can start taking him places with me (like my mom's, dan's, and a trip later this summer to columbus.) griffin just needs some training on basic commands and i need some help in learning how to train him without triggering him to remember past abuse. basically, i need to know how to train him in a really gentle manner. he just needs a little help on being calm and not marking his territory when he goes to a new place. and he definetly needs some leash training. maybe i can get him to walk more calm without the harness that makes him look like a retarded kid at the park.

i am up for a promotion at work. i've been here almost a year and they are opening a few positions for some of us to be "lead QA", meaning we would be in charge of a branch of the work. i'd be the lead QA for our multiple location testing, and i'd have 4 or 5 other QA testers on my team, including 1 or 2 people working in india. so this could be interesting! it could also be scary as hell, since this is already a high pressure job. we're working on a product that eventually will go to people in 140 countries. thousands of auditors in these countries will be using this software to audit huge companies worth billions. scary stuff.

i have a confession: i not only love pork rinds, i love pork cracklings. they are even worse then rinds, and are hard as rocks. i almost busted a tooth on one today. i am embarassed to buy them from the guy downstairs and totally ashamed to eat them. i wonder if there's some 12 step program for this kind of problem.

July 12, 2006

my pal karen makes the most amazing candles and tarts, and she's having a huge sale on her website. click here to see the deals. the tarts burn for at least 10 hours and make your whole house smell wonderful. and if you live around here and place an order i'll deliver them to your door.

i don't normally have "commercials" on my blog, but i think it's important to support small businesses. plus, she makes candles and tarts that are 10 times better then anything you could buy at a store.

July 11, 2006

i wanted to say a word about the sanctuary for senior dogs. they are the group that rescued dixie from the kennel, along with friends of the city of cleveland kennel. both these groups do amazing work in helping animals, and i'd recommend everyone donate as much time and money as possible. and PLEASE think about adopting an older rescued dog. everyone wants puppies, but these older dogs really need homes and make wonderful companions.

also, i posted a short piece of fiction an old friend of my dad's wrote a few years back. i am still getting up the nerve to post more of my own poetry and fiction, and mr. salinger is someone who helped me get started writing again after college. he worked with my dad at the machine shop when i was in high school, and he went on to become an accomplished poet and writer, and did a lot with the spoken word/ slam poetry scene in cleveland and beyond. here's a link to more of his stuff.

my offer is still open to post any poetry or short fiction from some brave soul. and i think we are due for a new "guest star" blog post, and i will even accept anonymus submissions. just shoot me an email with any submissions and let me know if you want your name included.

By Michael Salinger

The girl was making baby's footprints on the passenger side window. She contrived a fist and pressed the pinky side of her right hand against the cool wet glass leaving the impression of a 2-1/2 inch sole stamped, dripping in the condensation, then she took her thumb and added toes. The tracks didn't lead anywhere just a little barefoot motif randomly covering the transparency that separated her from the elements as she rode along in the Packard. It was a trick she had picked up riding the bus to grade school a couple of decades earlier, something she had forgotten 'til that instant. There was no particular reason for her to remember the pastime, just one of those random synapses firings that occur when the mind has gone blank for a moment. The appearance of an of an old western on the boob tube, already in progress, when the live feed to the baseball game has been killed by some squirrel giving up the ghost in a transformer placed in a Wisconsin soy bean field. The mind won't tolerate dead air, unless you're some kind of Buddhist monk or something, and she had gone to Catholic schools.

"Y'know," she said, speaking to the windshield as much as the driver, " I wish I were in love."

The radio fizzled out right in the middle of a cut from Miles' Bitches Brew as the convertible entered a long tunnel, white noise rustle from the dash mounted speaker cutting to the front of the line on the frequency. Neither of the two reached over to turn down the volume. Pink and aquamarine tiles flashed by on both sides of the art deco catacomb stretching to a vanishing point lazy curved in the distance where the two rows of steel caged light converged into a point. The reflection of the overhead incandescent bulbs scrolled across the hood of the car split into a V shape by the winged nude ornament, breasts thrust forward piercing the oncoming night air like a film of tracer bullets being played in reverse.

The driver spoke, "Well Toots," he said.

"The way I see it, love is a tourist trap you got to be a little gullible and bored to stop for it. I ain't sayin' stupid, just a little bit naive and lookin' for a diversion to save ya from the bullshit of everyday existence. I mean a lot of people that otherwise have their shit together are out there lookin for it. It's like the Loch Ness monster."

The girl rolled her window down a crack so she could smell the diesel aroma that was spewing from the tailpipe of the Greyhound bus in front of them.

"The thing's been rumored to exist just about forever, I think some saint back, hell 1500 years ago or so was the first to say he saw the son of a bitch. Made a woodcut of some sea monster bigger 'n a house with horns and a forked tongue smoke out the nostrils the whole shebang, and people been lookin ever since. Not just crackpots, you got your scientist out there with sonar and all kinds of equipment. The shores are lined with people, with telescopes and binoculars, on the weekends they bus the bastards in. I mean, these cats just want to believe that there is something out there, they devote all their spare time to catching a glimpse of a myth. Some folks just ain't got nothing better to do. They're obsessed."

The girl listened, watching the ceramic tiles whiz by freezing sections of them into snapshots by picking a single tile and following its passing with a quick glance. A couple times she noticed some graffiti that she recognized as English but flashed by too fast for her to read.

"There's a couple photographs of the thing floating around, Nessie, they call it Nessie now. Started out as a sea monster, now it's Nessie like it's some kinda big ass pet. And these photographs are so fuzzy; hell they could be a stick or some kinda watersnake blown up all grainy. But that's all they need, circumstantial evidence, it's enough to keep the saps coming back and dropping cash. There's a whole cottage industry built up around something that hasn't even been proven to exist. Ya got your Nessie fuckin T-shirts, your Nessie post cards, Nessie this and that. Folks makin' a buck off other folk's need to be convinced in something bigger than themselves. And the people that think they saw it? There ain't no way of talkin' them out of it 'cause they're convinced. Hook the assholes up to a lie detector and they'd pass with flying colors. I guess they ain't hurtin' nobody, live and let live I guess."

A gray four door passed by in the right lane, the little Chinese boy in the back seat had his face pressed against glass so that his nostrils flared up like some side show pig-boy, his bottom lip pulled down like a blind on a closed shop door.

"And what the fuck ya gonna do if ya catch it? I mean it ain't like you can put a leash on the son of a bitch. If it does exist it's sure spent a lot of time hiding. I don't think it wants to be found, throw a noose around its long ass neck and it's gonna be pretty pissed. I mean, if it's out there it's a wild animal. People gonna get hurt. Then what, blame it for doing what comes naturally? They'll drag the fucker outa the lake and stick it in a tank so P.T. Barnum can charge ya two bits to look at it. And it'll be in there, all crumpled up and sad looking. No way girlie girl, people aint got no business messin with something like love. They wouldn't know how to treat it if they found it. Christ, look how we boned King Kong."

Buddy Rich was pounding out a drum solo when the auto emerged from the tunnel.

The girl looked over, "Y'know Misha, talking like that ain't no way to get laid."

July 10, 2006

ok, after the 3rd person in a week asked me about dixie's "quality of life", i had to be honest with myself. she's not been the same since she got so sick with pancreitis a month ago. her liver was so damaged by the chemo, and her immune system was pretty much destroyed. the vet told me she might not do well when i brought her home. and over the last few weeks i've seen the signs. she's been going potty in the house all the time, and had started peeing on herself in her sleep. her cushing's, once in remission was back. she was drinking tons of water and eating everything in sight, and constantly searching for more food. over the weekend i noticed more blood in her stool and knew it was time. the hind leg weakness was also back, and this horrible rash she got over a month ago never went away. we had her on strong antibiotics, creme and i gave her baths every other day. the vet was so sad to see her rash looking terrible after all the treatment. so dr. bedi and i talked. we agreed that she'd been through enough and wasn't really enjoying life. she HATED the vet and was shaking every time. i knew she was done. he finally said he was proud of me for being strong enough to let her go. and he pointed out that dixie had a wonderful life the last 2 1/2 years. becca (who rescued her at the kennel) and i spoiled her rotten. she ate steak, got to have so many treats and so much fun. zak took such good care of her recently. he helped her up onto his bed so she could get lovin' with the other dogs, when she was too weak to jump up on her own. dan got to meet her a few times, and as i told lisa ann, she was "fancy from the waist up." everyone loved her so much!

ok, i am sad, but i know it was the right thing....here are some of my favorite pics of dixie. besides pics of her looking pretty (which she was!) i've included some hilarious pics of her playing rough and acting wild like she used to do after a bath. she was fancy and gorgeous, but she could kick ass too!

oh bunny!!!!!!!!!!!

i've been bossed....
ok, time to blog about the weekend fun. lisa ann came to visit from columbus and we had a blast. the above pic makes me giggle. look how happy she is! and i think this pic was taken when she was doing some of her famous vaudville dancing and she's mid-air. have you ever seen a wilder, happier face???

she's moving far away to canada for grad school, but i got her to start a blog and i'll post a link to it soon. for now click here.

lisa ann, dan and i have come up with a sitcom called "that damn zak!!!" and we've gotten started on a theme song. i'll have more on that later. and i am posting pics of the cutest baby ever over on my photo blog.

July 9, 2006

florrie fisher (read here) was the inspiration for jerry blank in strangers with candy. the SWC film is coming out soon!

July 6, 2006

i know it's a very touchy topic, but why should burning the flag be illegal? my blog friend lobster boy posted about it. he's a bit more conservative then me, and we don't always agree. but the flag burning thing baffles me. i don't want to piss anyone off and i know people get every heated on the topic. but when people say things like, "my father fought in a war to defend that flag", i think, why would anyone risk their lives for some colored bits of cloth sewn together? i mean, love your country, but don't die for a flag or a decal.

and it seems to me that it goes against everything we have fought for in this country, things like freedom. to arrest anyone for burning a flag, unless it's stolen property, what are you arresting them for?

lobster boy quotes folks who say, "i'd never burn a flag, but other people should have the right to do so." and though we are coming from different sides of the debate, i tend to agree with his calling them cowards, but for different reasons. i say, "i might burn a flag someday, because i feel so strongly about having the freedom to do so."

the flag represents different things to different people. so how can you qualify that in a constitutional ammendment?

hhmmm.........besides my lobster pal, i am not sure what kind of responses i might get on this post. ah well....... let's see how this one goes. it could end up a heated debate like the sauerkraut in cabbage rolls blog a few months back!

July 4, 2006

well, the long holiday weekend is over. back to reality, the good and bad of it. i was gone most of the 4 day weekend and actually missed my roomie zak. now that's insane!

i am obsessed with the musician andrew bird. read about him here. he doesn't have any music videos, but i found some live footage on youtube that's amazing (even though i hate live recordings like this.) enjoy.....