i was a morbid kid....

recently copax mentioned reading about the 30 year "anniversary" of the jonestown massacre. (i hate the word anniversary for such unhappy dates.) as a child i actually saw the news footage of the senator being shot on the airstrip, up late one night watching tv when i should have been sleeping. i remember the shock of seeing someone being shot....

this got me to thinking about what a morbid kid i was. i spent hours reading an old paperback copy of "sybil" i found in my grandma's attic. i was also fascinated with "helter skelter". i followed the ted bundy case in grandma's reader's digest. there was something about real life horror stories that intrigued me.

elementary school- racism & MLK jr's murder was a big obsession. then i saw a film about the holocaust (the movie "julia" made me cry so hard i missed a day of school). i kept pestering my grandpa about it (his family left yugoslavia before WWII). he'd get me to shut up by telling me the story about the time his mom chopped the head off a sheep and it chased him for a mile.

junior high- hiroshima & nagasaki. i wrote 3 different reports on those nuclear bombs and the devastation, until a teacher finally told me to stop writing about it.

high school- back to racism, MLK jr's assassination, serial killers, the moors murders, and finally my senior year a 50 page report on oscar wilde (with a focus on his tortured life in the closet and grotesque death.)

some other random evidence that i was an odd kid:

age 4: organized a neighborhood "run away from home" initiative. we loaded up a red wagon with important supplies (stuffed animals and crackers) & headed for the park at the end of the street. i'd seen some houses up on a high hill at the back of the park, and thought my friends and i could find a place to stay there. sadly, my dad busted us 1/2 way up the street and most of my friends (but not me) got spanked.

age 5: snuck into my grandma's basement with my best friend and created something i called "fagnotion". really, i don't know how i got that name. it was supposed to be a magic potion. we got a huge bucket and poured in cleaning supplies, koolaid and candy. it foamed up and spilled all over and we got in trouble. thankfully there were no explosions.

age 7: at a sleepover i organized a "stay up all night and drink vinegar" party. why? because i heard if you drank vinegar it would make you as pale as a vampire. so i snuck a bottle of vinegar out of the kitchen and tried to get my friends to drink it. they all balked and fell asleep before "big chuck & hoolihan" came on, and i was pissed.

i also wanted to be in a wheelchair. i speed-read judy blume books and highlighted the naughty parts for my lazy friends who didn't like to read books. i turned my barbies into mummies.


so i guess it's not suprise i ended up living with a well behind an old barn, full of old dolls. or that we have an antique wheelchair with a life-sized replica of my friend's son, know as "the creepy henry doll." we buy him halloween outfits. it all makes sense!