how trying to be "healthy & proactive" almost killed me....

so yeah, i bought some metamucil. i got it for dan & i both because it's supposed to lower cholesterol, and also help with IBS if taken once a day. so, i was trying to be proactive and healthy. i took only the lowest dose with extra water to be safe.

but within a few minutes my lips were burning, my ears were burning on the inside tubes, and i knew it wasn't going to be good. by the time we realized i need to go to the ER, my entire face was bright red and ballooning up. i was covered in hives on my neck, upper thighs, etc...and start to have some trouble breathing.

i looked up metamucil before i took it, just to be safe. but i didn't look up its actual main ingredient: psyllium seed husks.

per wiki: Possible adverse reactions include allergic reactions such as anaphylaxis.
here's the 2nd part of the problem: my bariatric surgery. my stomach and the opening to it is smaller then normal. and i guess metamucil expands and then wads up and get stuck in the small stomach opening. again, i read a little about bariatric surgery and people who take this med and read a few "this is ok" thing. again, reading the wiki on pysillium husks would have give me the better info:

per wiki: Gastrointestinal tract obstruction may occur, especially for those with prior bowel surgeries or anatomic abnormalities, or if taken with inadequate amounts of water.

so i had a double whammy: a rare anaphylaxis (severe allergic) reaction to the ingredients, and then my crazy post-weightloss surgery plumbing (an anatomic abnormality) took the ingredient, which explaned and got stuck.

awesome! so we went to the ER. i had to bang on a double glass window to get anyone's attention (i was too freaked out to notice the call button.) they took me right back (since i was bright red and puffy and then next step in that kind of reaction is to stop breathing.) the lovely nurse (that dan knew from high school!) tried to get an IV started. no luck. my veins are small and they roll. so after multiple deep jabs with the needle, the vein blew out.

the doc came in and said with my history of IV problems (last time in the ER they ended up put a main line right into my heart.) so instead i got injections of steroids and ephedrine. after a while it finally started to work. we were in the ER about 3 hours total.

i'm home and it's breakfast time. the streoids are working (even my roseaca is gone for now). i'm hainvg a cup of coffee and some cooked spinach. my take it slow and not eat anythings to dense or hard to digest. but i'm fine. i'm ok, you're ok.

finally: the ER on a saturday night is a trainwreck and reminds me of the movie "jacob's ladder."

mondegreens & a modern stone age family.....

a recent work conversation with the bathroom camera thief (BCT) :

BCT: this stupid song keeps going through my head ... 'my body lies over the ocean ... my body lies over the sea ... ' UMMMM ... aren't the proper words 'my BONNIE ... ' and WHY is THAT song in my head?

me: i was just about to say, "hey loony tunes, it's bonnie, not body!!!"

me: it's ok, do you remember that juice newton song.... "just call me angel of the morning"? the line "just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby" was something jennette thought was, "just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby"

BCT: OMG ... that is funny ... but now I am mad at you because now in my head it sounds like this ... "my body lies over the ocean, just brush my teeth before you leave me BONNIE ... "

now, i had a colossal mondegreen back in junior high. one that haunted me for years. i was hanging out with lisa r. and some cute boys from st. joe's. it was after school and we were watching the flintstones. everyone was singing along to the theme song and laughing.

"flintstones, meet the flintstones..... they're a mod-y go-dy family!!!!"

huh? what the hell did jen just sing???? (they all turned to look at me in confusion.)

i said, "you know! flintstones, meet the flintstones, they're a mod-y go-dy family!!!" and then i realized that mod-y go-dy might not be an actual word.

my face turned bright red and hot. i searched my mind for what the lyrics should be and came up blank. i'd been singing along with that theme song for years and never stopped to think what the hell mod-y go-dy might mean!

at this point it was like the shower scene in 'carrie', except no one was throwing maxi pads at me. they were just laughing so hard that they were crying. and for the rest of that school year, my nickname was mod-y go-dy.

and finally, the great candy debate:

we've been eating runts at work. obviously the banana flavored ones are easy to identify. and BCT figured out the other yellow ones are pineapple. but what about the pink heart shaped ones? are they human heart flavored? just curious....

by request....

there once was a beautiful, fair maiden, who worked in a tall tower on a cliff near a lake. she was beautiful, fair, and very sensitive. especially sensitive to elastic in her undergarments. (like "the princess and the pea", but only with underwear!)

one day the fair maiden wore a new pair of undies to work. and they were uncomfortable. (the elastic hurt like a bitch!!!!) it was winter and she had on pants and boots with like a million laces. she didn't have time to unlace the boots to take off her royal pants. so she devised a plan.....

she only had an old pair of scissors, large and heavy, left behind by the wicked and evil hag who occupied her desk a fortnight ago. she took the scissors and hid them up the sleeve of her shirt and went to the bathroom. she planned on cutting off the offensive undergarment whilst hiding in a bathroom stall. that way she'd not have to unlace her boots to take off the boots and then her royal pants. no, she would simply cut the underwear on either side and whisk the hideous garb off and into the trash.

the plan worked! she kept her dumb winter boots on, got the wicked undies off, and all was well in the kingdom. she put the scissors back up her sleeve and left the stall. as she was leaving the stall, a common villager (possible a village idiot) bumped into her, and the large, heavy scissors fell from her sleeve onto the tile floor. without looking up, the now red-faced (but still beautiful) princess grabbed the scissors and high-tailed it out of there!!!!

she never got a good look at the person who bumped into her, and no one ever asked her why a giant pair of scissors would fall out of her sleeve in the bathroom. so everyone lived happily ever after.

the yogurt thief

i am always starting off stories to groundcat, saying, "did i ever tell ya about the time....?" and god knows i repeat my stories. we all know and love the old favorite, "the time i fell and farted loudly in the lockroom of the YMCA" story. and "the time i accidentally sprayed butter flavored pam in my eyes" story. and who can forget the holiday classic, "the time i cut my underwear off in the work bathroom and the giant scissors fell out of my sleeve" tale? well, there was a new one last night, one i thought i'd share with my blog pals.

and so begins tonight's tale.......

"did i ever tell ya about the time i accidentally stole yogurt from a diabetic person???"

ok, i was working crazy hours at this time. like 50-60 hours a week. i would pack a bag of snacks and food to bring in on mondays. i sometimes forgot about the food and it would get thrown out at the end of the month. but i liked having it there for late nights. i was trying to eat healthy and would bring yogurt. i loved the yoplait key lime flavored yogurt the best.

one day i got stuck at work late, like 10pm. i was exhausted and hungry. i hadn't brought snacks that week, but thought there might be stuff in there from the week before. i saw a lime yogurt and grabbed it. when i ate it, i realized it might not be mine, because i normally got the "light" version (with aspartame instead of sugar.) i was worried, but was already eating the yogurt and figured it was not a big deal.

the next morning i came in, thinking about the yogurt. i thought i could leave a note saying, "hey, i think i ate someone's yogurt by mistake, sorry!" but that seemed silly. then i saw the note taped to the fridge door. typed, in bold letters.

"to whom it may concern,

i am a diabetic. yesterday, someone ate my lime yogurt from this refridgerator. i could have gone into a diabetic coma! what if my blood sugar dropped and i needed to eat that? i could have ended up in the hospital!!! so whoever stole my yogurt, you should be ashamed of yourself!!!"

i was pissed at that point. it had been an honest mistake. i noticed this "angry diabetic yogurt enthusiest" had also stocked the entire top shelf of the fridge door with yogurt.

and maybe, i might have taken the 1 lime yogurt from the door and moved it to the back of another shelf...... just for shits and giggles.......