by request....

there once was a beautiful, fair maiden, who worked in a tall tower on a cliff near a lake. she was beautiful, fair, and very sensitive. especially sensitive to elastic in her undergarments. (like "the princess and the pea", but only with underwear!)

one day the fair maiden wore a new pair of undies to work. and they were uncomfortable. (the elastic hurt like a bitch!!!!) it was winter and she had on pants and boots with like a million laces. she didn't have time to unlace the boots to take off her royal pants. so she devised a plan.....

she only had an old pair of scissors, large and heavy, left behind by the wicked and evil hag who occupied her desk a fortnight ago. she took the scissors and hid them up the sleeve of her shirt and went to the bathroom. she planned on cutting off the offensive undergarment whilst hiding in a bathroom stall. that way she'd not have to unlace her boots to take off the boots and then her royal pants. no, she would simply cut the underwear on either side and whisk the hideous garb off and into the trash.

the plan worked! she kept her dumb winter boots on, got the wicked undies off, and all was well in the kingdom. she put the scissors back up her sleeve and left the stall. as she was leaving the stall, a common villager (possible a village idiot) bumped into her, and the large, heavy scissors fell from her sleeve onto the tile floor. without looking up, the now red-faced (but still beautiful) princess grabbed the scissors and high-tailed it out of there!!!!

she never got a good look at the person who bumped into her, and no one ever asked her why a giant pair of scissors would fall out of her sleeve in the bathroom. so everyone lived happily ever after.