i really went out and bought this book today. i figure if we use this, and take none of the advice posted on this blog in comments, we'll be ok. and no, uncle tank is not invited!
i get online to research stuff for the wedding. we need to find a place to get married, i need a flouncy dress, we need wedding bands, cakes, ah!!!!!! instead of doing real work for this wedding, i end up finding weird crap like this:
zombie wedding cake topper! and look, hello kitty themed cake!
this upsets me.....
why? why would someone create a robot-bee themed cake topper? that seems.... horrible. if string was involved i'd be ready to elope.
final insane images......
my beer belly might work with the gown on the left... and the bride & her cake on the right are just....beyond bridezilla. (i wonder what flavor "insane" cake actually tastes like?)
and so i have wasted another day looking at insane stuff on the internet. actual wedding planning accomplished? zilch!
25 comments:
I think you should go ahead and use that book.
Now you're stuck. you said you wouldn't take advice posted in comments, yet, by using the book you ARE taking advice posted in the comments. HA! solve THAT paradox ms. fancy pants!
dammit!!!!
also, mojito had some good ideas about the cake and stuff....
dammit!
Now some of these posts are from seasoned marriage experts that have been married several times and deffinately have it right by now... they hope...
I would recomend one of thost bridal magazines. My wife used them to give her ideas. She ended up making a LOT of things herself to save money, but it was also something we could do together. I think I wrapped one of the boquets in floral tape myself and I didn't bleed once.
Alls I wanna know is, will the band have to learn the Deodorschmint song?
I give no advice, as your marriageloserinest friend. But I will come and do grunt work. Weddings have a lot of grunt work for which princesses should not chip their ready chippy nail polish. I will accept nonglamourous assignments.
Another piece of sage advice: Midgets make everything more fun!
we actually discussed midgets last night. i was saying of we booked mooreland mansion, i'd want a "melonhead" theme. maybe flower girl & ring bearer melonheads. since melondheads don't exist, i thought maybe hiring midget and putting giant fake heads on them would work.
oh, sds is so artsy and crafty! she can be my bargain-basement, better then martha wedding planning assistant!
whitey & mojito- post some pics from your nuptials on your blogs!!!!
p.s. a note from my beloved sister today:
"On June 12, 1967, the United States Supreme Court overturned the conviction of a married couple named Loving – he was white, she was black. They lived in Virginia and had violated the southern state's law against inter-racial marriage. The high court's decision made interracial marriage legal in all 50 states. Today, the Loving decision is celebrated as an important victory for multi-culturalism and democracy.
that's right. you might be getting married, but you boring white b*itches don't get your own day!!!!"
Thanks for reminding me. Mrs. Libre and I still have to send in our proofs to get developed from the photographer.
BTW, our 3rd anniversary is coming up in August...
You can say all you want to about melonheads, and zombies, but I bet you will be standing at the front of the druid sacrifice altar with a tear in your eye. You'll have to hide a hanky in your Beetlejuice wedding miniskirt!!
How about a cake shaped like a computer, since that is how you met and documented your love? Or a skull...
Please don't wear green/blue/puce nail polish. Just this once.
a cousin of mine met her husband at caribou coffee. At the reception they had a candy bar setup with all kinds of candy and they got a bunch of caribou coffee cups for people to scoop the candy into, in recognition of them meeting there.
Sooo....yeah....how can we do something similar for you guys....
oh my gosh, I had a dream last night that you got married at the Melonhead house!! I had a friend get married there and she said it was a really great place. sladj
Chris, we should not celebrate the fact that these two met on MySpace. Now, if it would've been Craig's List, that would've been fine.
MySpace? I could've sworn it was Friendster....or was it AdultFriendFinder?
How many dates am I allowed to bring to this thing? not like at the same time or nothin', but like if I brought one chick to the wedding and a different one to the reception, would that be cool? Oh yeah, you gonna allow smokin'? like during the wedding and shit? My cough's gotten a ton better, I think it was those stupid patches that fucked me up. they were so chewy and kept gettin stuck in my throat.
umm
what was I sayin'?
oh yeah, is the reception byob? If so that's bullshit and I'm not gonna be there.
Yeah. It was definitely MySpace. Jen was enthralled in Groundcat's overuse of sparkly pink icons and the sweet unabashed poetry that poured out of his heart and onto his page. Like the following:
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic.
And so am I."
Uncle Tank: the reception's gonna be hooker-optional.
oh I thought they met during his emo page where the background was all black and all the text was black and there were no pictures
Makita Library...or whatever yer name is...nah, I found this new thing...called an "escort service" I think I can get me a much classier woman there. but that's why I've got two women to bring cause since they're new they're getting me a two-for-one special.
that reminds me...I gotta stock up on what I call my "Giant Fly" combo. It's a mix of ambien, spanish fly, and viagra
Hey, UT, that's not an "escort service" you were talking to, that was a "taxi service".
You may want to hold off on offering your "Giant Fly" to the lady, since it's more than likely gonna be a guy named Mort who just drives the cab on the weekend.
Unless you're into that sort of thing...not that there's anything wrong with it...
.....you talk funny
I talk funnier after half a bottle of Manishevitz.
I'll buy you a mug of wine at the wedding.
as long as it comes from one of those boxes
where the hell is jennifer? It's like she's not even reading the comments on her own blob....blo...whatever you call this thing..
well, the tankster's gotta log out...sign off...whatever. Walgreens doesn't seem to like it if you surf the world wide internet webs on their cash registers when they're not lookin
i've been running errands today with my betrothed. we also bathed all 3 dogs, quite a feat.
engaged, old mutts given baths, new red furniture..... and vegas next week.
i was gonna blog about non-wedding stuff, like people who eat soup in the summer, or something about melonheads... but after reading these comments i'm exhausted, confused and a little scared....
maybe i'll post some dog pics...
Well, as long as the crazy posts keep you busy, you won't have time to worry about the wedding plans!
shhh mojito, you're giving away our secret plans
Uhh, err. Ummmm...gemme more Manashevitzsz...
Post a Comment