
i placed the chicken in a large freezer bag. then, i pounded the chicken with my fists to tenderize the meat. i've done this many times and it's kind of fun. a good way to take out some frustrations!
i was buzzing around the kitchen, thinking how smart i was to use the time to get dinner started. i imagined that health reporter from the news, filming me making dinner. look at me in my lovely peach kitchen, all snazzy and prepared! the kitchen is clean as a whistle too. gosh, i felt like some kind of bargain brand martha stewart!
i went to put the bag of perfectly prepared chicken into the fridge, stepping over griffin (the most "under foot dog" ever) and heard a loud THUD. one of the large, raw chicken breasts was on the ground, and griffin was about to pounce!
i shoved griffin aside and grabbed the chicken. it was slippery and sort of squished & flew out of my hand, hitting the side of the counter and bouncing behind me. i lunged for it and another chicken breast came flying out.
griffin was racing around, while i shoved him aside, yelling in a very undignified manner. the 3rd and largest chicken breast hit the floor and i gave griffin a final shove, yelled something along the lines of "son of a god damned bitch!!!!" and threw myself on top of the chicken breast.
i managed to stand up, put the meat on the counter and get griffin out of the kitchen and close the door. i looked around at the slimy chicken and seasonings, all over the floor and counters. pink & orange slime, on the floors, counters, and me. and i was now running late.
what would martha do? who knows. probably fire the person who bought the freezer bags. maybe have a glass of chardonay and slap an assistant... i cleaned up the mess, rinsed the chicken and put it in a new bag, changed clothes and came to work. i was only a few minutes late, and i'm sure the chicken will taste fine once it's cooked and smothered in BBQ sauce.
:)
5 comments:
Umm..
*tries to come up with some witty comment*
....*thinks*....
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
sorry, that's all I got.
Vanity, thy name is chicken slime. Yuck. I woulda called off work for that one.
Like my grand-daddy used to say, "Don't toot your own horn 'til the chicken's in the fridge".
"Don't count your chicken breasts until they're in the freezer bag"?
I hope something as interesting happens on your taped interview next week...Just thinking of this makes me think I have copper pennies in my mouth...
mojito- glad to have you around!
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