January 15, 2008

start your day right!

i was running early this morning, which is rare. i decided to be "proactive" and get some of tonight's dinner prepared. i took the pack of chicken breasts out of the fridge, opened it and sprinkled the dry rub all over the chicken. (i love cooking but hate dealing with raw meat, especially chicken, so i use forks to handle it and then windex all areas of the counter and wash my hands in hot soapy water.)


i placed the chicken in a large freezer bag. then, i pounded the chicken with my fists to tenderize the meat. i've done this many times and it's kind of fun. a good way to take out some frustrations!



i was buzzing around the kitchen, thinking how smart i was to use the time to get dinner started. i imagined that health reporter from the news, filming me making dinner. look at me in my lovely peach kitchen, all snazzy and prepared! the kitchen is clean as a whistle too. gosh, i felt like some kind of bargain brand martha stewart!



i went to put the bag of perfectly prepared chicken into the fridge, stepping over griffin (the most "under foot dog" ever) and heard a loud THUD. one of the large, raw chicken breasts was on the ground, and griffin was about to pounce!



i shoved griffin aside and grabbed the chicken. it was slippery and sort of squished & flew out of my hand, hitting the side of the counter and bouncing behind me. i lunged for it and another chicken breast came flying out.



griffin was racing around, while i shoved him aside, yelling in a very undignified manner. the 3rd and largest chicken breast hit the floor and i gave griffin a final shove, yelled something along the lines of "son of a god damned bitch!!!!" and threw myself on top of the chicken breast.



i managed to stand up, put the meat on the counter and get griffin out of the kitchen and close the door. i looked around at the slimy chicken and seasonings, all over the floor and counters. pink & orange slime, on the floors, counters, and me. and i was now running late.



what would martha do? who knows. probably fire the person who bought the freezer bags. maybe have a glass of chardonay and slap an assistant... i cleaned up the mess, rinsed the chicken and put it in a new bag, changed clothes and came to work. i was only a few minutes late, and i'm sure the chicken will taste fine once it's cooked and smothered in BBQ sauce.


:)





5 comments:

copaX said...

Umm..



*tries to come up with some witty comment*


....*thinks*....



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA



sorry, that's all I got.

Mojito Libre said...

Vanity, thy name is chicken slime. Yuck. I woulda called off work for that one.

Like my grand-daddy used to say, "Don't toot your own horn 'til the chicken's in the fridge".

copaX said...

"Don't count your chicken breasts until they're in the freezer bag"?

glittermom said...

I hope something as interesting happens on your taped interview next week...Just thinking of this makes me think I have copper pennies in my mouth...

GLITTERGIRL said...

mojito- glad to have you around!