the face that broke the i-mac.....

magalotti- sketch artist

mag's could get a job at cedar point with these caricature skills! (although i think groundcat may have requested the cleavage in the drawing....) hahahaha!

i will post tons of photos from "sunday funday" once our Imac is fixed. apparently jennette broke it with a photo she took of her "bad face".

sea monkeys and other stuff

glittergirl: so i had to tell groundcat i signed up for a bridal registry
glittergirl: i didn't mean to do it!
glittergirl: i just wanted the catalog with my new cool plates
CopaX: how did you accidentally sign up for a bridal registry?!?
CopaX: god, you are such a moron!
glittergirl: i know!
glittergirl: well, "secret work friend" accidentally shaved his head!
glittergirl: stuff happens
CopaX: yeah, to morons!
glittergirl: i thought it was a wish list, like amazon
glittergirl: but for awesome plates
glittergirl: and it's cool to have my own "pattern" registered
glittergirl: i didn't notice the "bridal" thing until i was 1/2 way through!!!

(click here to buy me pfaltzgraff for my god damned b-day!)

glittergirl: did i tell you about our christmas card idea?
glittergirl: matching holiday sweater vests
glittergirl: he will shave his goatee into a mustache
CopaX: oh come on
glittergirl: i'll make it look like i have a tight old lady perm
glittergirl: we're gonna pose with the dogs in front of a fire or something
CopaX: as long as you do another picture on the inside of the "after"
glittergirl: exactly! on the inside of the card is the real photo. the dogs flipping out, him screaming at me, i'm sobbing and there are beer bottles on the floor
CopaX: there ya go
glittergirl: and a photo of us with a rose in a brandy snifter!!!!
glittergirl: oh, i got all kinds of good ideas....
CopaX: you need a photo of the two of you looking up at the upper left corner
CopaX: you know, like the old cheesy portraits!
glittergirl: yes!!!!
CopaX: god, I need to find one, but I don't know how to search for it
glittergirl: in front of a wagon wheel, looking to the upper left
CopaX: I can't find an example
CopaX: I need to see it
glittergirl ah....
glittergirl: ok, let me try to find an example
glittergirl: dammit
glittergirl: it's impossible
CopaX: no shit sherlock!
glittergirl: god, enough with the holding hands on the beach too
glittergirl: so many damn pics of that
glittergirl: we're gonna take one of us at the lake, in front of one of those signs warning about the “high fecal count and raw sewage” in the lake
CopaX: I've tried corny potraits, cheesy portraits, cheesy 70s portraits, bad family portraits, corny poses, cheesy poses, and nothing!
glittergirl here’s one:

glittergirl modern, but horrible
CopaX: gay
CopaX: here’s one:

CopaX: will someone get this old lady off of me?!
CopaX: (ok, turning off safe search was a BAD idea)
CopaX HAHAHA
glittergirl: here’s another:

glittergirl: modern and disturbing
CopaX I found the motherload!
glittergirl: my god
CopaX: I KNOW
CopaX: IT'S THE MOTHERLOAD!
glittergirl: i am laughing, stuttering
CopaX: 4th row

CopaX: first one looks like molestation in progress
glittergirl: YES!
CopaX: second one looks like Uncle Tank at the wrong family reunion LOL
glittergirl: LOL!!!
CopaX OOH!

CopaX MULLET IN THE YELLOW SHIRT!!!!
CopaX PLUS BIG 80s HAIR!
glittergirl: i wanna be her when i grow up:

and i don't want to every see this guy in real life:

ok, i'm gonna go have nightmares now!

halloween is everyday of the year....

i love halloween, horror movies, dressing up creepy, old wheelchairs, pumpkins, etc... i want to celebrate halloween all year. i guess me and old groundcat already do! especially our love of horror movies. in the last few months, groundcat has subjected me to a few horror movie sequels that have been.....painful to watch, and not in the fun way.

the grudge II- horrible, boring, dumb, and a huge waste of time.

wrong turn II- the original "wrong turn" was a little iffy to begin with (i cannot explain groundcat's fondness for the movie, except the chick in the white tank top and "3 fingers".) the 2nd one has henry rollins as a reality tv drill seargent! i love henry, but the movie is so collasollaly bad. and in this one, you see 3 fingers and the other "inbreds" having sex, giving birth and blogging. ok, not blogging, that would have made it better.

sleepaway camp II- ok, this one is my fault, not groundcat's. we all loved the original film, but the sequel doesn't have the same actress. she's replaced by bruce springsteen's sister for some odd reason, who is annoying and sucks.

poltergeist II- the first one was not that great. i do not like craig t. nelson. the only reason to watch the 2nd one is for reverend kane. oh my gosh, he's scary, and he's smart.....

texas chainsaw massacre (not sure of the number...3 maybe)- we caught the last hour of this trainwreck the other night on cable. i'll post my only wiki link today for this one here. it's worth it. my god, it was so awful, it didn't make sense! leatherface is some kind of transvestite and screams in a high pitched voice. (he looks a little like liz taylor or me in the bloody mary video)

maybe we need to make a sequel to bloody mary???

my grocery store nightmare (it's reoccuring....)

everytime i go the giant eagle by our house, i come home traumatized with stories about the various bizarre young men running the checkouts. i don't know where they find these guys, but they are all young (late teens to early 20's), talkative (they make me look like a mute) and disturbing as hell.

the check out boys:
dj brandon
fast talking video geek
nervous, inappropriate joker
angry thin gay guy

sample conversations (always out of the clear blue!)
dj brandon: "hey, do ya like music? i'm a dj, here's my business card! i'm playing at a booth at the fairport city fair, wanna come by? what? you don't like fairs or loud music? you don't dance or like crowds? aw, come on!!!!"

fast talking video geek: actually, i couldn't reproduce his diatribe if i wanted to. he really must be on crystal meth (or blak coke, preferred beverage of howler monkeys.) all i remember is him asking me if i played "halo" (of course i don't!) and then for the next 10 minutes telling me how he develops strategies for winning online multi-player games, why robert downey jr. will be good in some movie about some comic book, and how myspace is a good for picking up whorish type girls. i had to come home and lay down after this one.

the other 2 you can easily guess how those conversations went. besides, i need to get to tonight's episode, entitled......

"karma shopping- with coupons!"

i worked late and had to go to the grocery. i was not up for any of the nonsense mentioned above. so i make sure and choose a line without an insane young guy. i spot an old gal with a peach-tinted bouffant and get in her line. i unload my groceries, and notice the lady in front of me. she's thin and nervous, in a faded jogging suit. her groceries are already bagged, and she's clutching the receipt. and i suddenly realize............this is not going to be good.

the bouffant-lady cashier looks at her, confused, and asks how she can help her. she takes a deep breathe and says, "um...i need you to look at my receipt.....um..... i bought 5 dannon yogurts. the kind in the small containers that are 5 for $2. i also bought a large container of dannon yogurt, and my receipt shows that i was undercharged 80 cents for that. and then, um....i had a coupon for 60 cents that didn't get applied to my total......so i want to fix that."

bouffant says, "well honey, that's sweet of you to let us know you got undercharged, but it's ok. it happens and you can go ahead and head on home."

crazy replies, "no, i need to pay the difference! i owe you 20 cents!"

bouffant looks puzzled and asks, "why?"

crazy lady says, "it's bad karma!"

bouffant tells her she can't do anything about it and suggests she go to the service counter. i step up and she gives me a look, winking and rolling her eyes and saying something like, "we get some real crazies!" and we watch the lady stand at the service desk, explaining her "karma problem" over the next 10 minutes.

it was funny and shocking and odd, but also annoying. this lady wasted a good 5 minutes of my time, the cashiers time, and another 10 minutes of the service desk managers time, all to make sure her karma was in order. how is that good karma?

either way, i need to find a new grocery store.

secret work friend, fall is here, and seinfeld...

joining the ranks of "uc freak", we now have secret work friend. the coworker who reads my blog and prompted me to add a "blog disclosure".

unlike uc freak (name withheld by request) or the plain clothed freaks (like rachel and copax), secret work friend is just a freak. he's the male version of me, and i felt horrible to break that news to him. it's the only reason i broke my rule of keeping work folks out of the blog, pure pity. i wouldn't wish the "male version of me" on anyone!

he'd like to join the fun but remain anonymous. he has until friday to provide some photo of his choosing, or else i take him public! he's finding out the fun (and the emotional blackmail involved in blogging.)

all i will say is that he's a he. he's the one who hipped me to sock monkey bed sheets, and has an array of his own embarrassing stories, like today; explaining how he "accidentally" shaved his head, or how he almost stabbed himself in the neck with a garden weasel.

he is not allowed near the sea monkeys after telling me about his brother eating a pack of sea monkeys eggs as a child. when i said i was going to put up invisible fence to keep him away, he said, "oh god, those collars are really painful!!!"

"um....secret work friend, how would you know?" his reply, "lost a bet..."

in other news:

jerry seinfeld is cute again! maybe i am used to seeing him in reruns with the slight mullet and mock turtlenecks. he's aged well and is my new pretend celebrity boyfriend. and look at these jeans i found online. GROSS!

fall is here and i love it. here are some pics from our place and the giant deer i stalked after work yesterday. enjoy!

happy halloween!!!!!!

i am way too excited by sea-monkeys

day one- water purified....

sadly, we read the directions and realized it was a friday, and since the directions say purify for 24 hours, we had to wait til monday

day 2- water purification now commences!

(here we can observe anthony reading the directions and then stirring in the mixture with a coffee stirrer....)

the water is purifying and monte looks on, amazed at the miracle of sea monkeys!

day 3- hatch the eggs!!!

anthony finds hatching fun, and monte looks on, baffled at the magic and mystery happening right before his eyes!

the secret sea money scientists observe their creation.....

also, i got a kick ass purse/tote/ bag at target, big enough to fit a laptop, books, or a small child! (i went to the fancy bathroom for the purse photo shoot.)

per the directions that came with the sea monkeys, we should start seeing some stuff happen in the next 2-4 days. monday we feed them for the first time!!!!

i'm way too excited about dinnerware

I Y PFALTZGRAFF!!!!!

i take back all the bad stuff i've said and blog fighting with my mom. she gave me this awesome set of dishes!!! They are the "folk art" pattern and i am signing up for some kind of registry so people can go buy me more of this stuff!

there's even a little container for my packs of splenda, and these pieces on the right for god know's what!

my favorite is this dumb little heart shaped bowl. i was so excited to eat leftover spatzles in it!!!

notice my cool michael myers tshirt. also, mom, what are spatzles?

now that i have these cool plates, i need to make room for them. they are large and heavy and it's a huge set. so i am moving the spices i don't regularly use. i decided to "think outside the box" and put them in a cabinet in an old easter gift bag. i am a super genius!

these are the spices i am keeping in the cupboard. i was suprised to see i have "cheesy popcorn seasoning" as well as "cheese flavored seasoning- cheesoning". i'm so confused!!!!! and there's no wiki entry for this, so i have to go by the label. cheesoning is cheddar and then all kinds of spices and things, and my black friends in columbus cooked with it a lot. and i think my mom puts it in pasta salad.


here is a photo (left) more rare then bigfoot or the loch ness monster. groundcat cooking. he stirred the boiling pasta for almost the whole 7 minutes until it was done! and he was even game to try brussel sprouts, since, as he put it, they were "covered in butter and might not be too horrible."

the final shot on the bottom right is not the usual "method acting" groundcat employs for photos. he really hated those brussel sprouts!