Uncle Tank is supposed to go trick or treating tonight. He went to burger king last night, and saw a big poster of the kings head, so he ripped it off the wall and ran off with it. he got a crown too, also from burger king. He then took his maroon microfiber curtains down off his livign room window of his apartment to wear as a cape. Course he doesn't mind not having any curtains, because he thinks it'll draw more attention to his home business. You see, he's trying to start a naked pilates class taught out of his apartment. He even bought a vhs tape of pilates exercises from Walgreens. Problem is the sign he has out front on the lawn advertising it says "Nekkid Plates" since Uncle Tank was never much competition at Scrabble. So people just think he's having a weird garage sale where he's only selling overstocked plates that have nicks and scratches in them.
Actually, he was telling the truth. He found this piece of brass-covered tubing, I'm guessing it must've been part of a headboard on a bed frame or something. Anyways, it was messed up, it had been around back of the apartment complex, stuck in the dirt and it had some weird fungus growing on it. So, Uncle Tank, in his resourcefulness remembered how somebody told him you could pee on your feet to help get rid of foot fungus. So my guess is he was trying out his technique near your place. Sorry bout that.
No harm, no foul. I guess since Uncle Tank's the kinda guy buying groceries at Dollar General, he's probably not up on the whole "Tough actin' Tinactin".
Oh yeah, don't bring that up around him. He has issues with any product or service that calls itself "tough", "strong", or other related adjectives. I think he gets jealous that he's not allowed to bill himself as "Tough Actin' Tank" without facing copyright violations.
6 comments:
Is that Martha's dog?
Uncle Tank is supposed to go trick or treating tonight. He went to burger king last night, and saw a big poster of the kings head, so he ripped it off the wall and ran off with it. he got a crown too, also from burger king. He then took his maroon microfiber curtains down off his livign room window of his apartment to wear as a cape. Course he doesn't mind not having any curtains, because he thinks it'll draw more attention to his home business. You see, he's trying to start a naked pilates class taught out of his apartment. He even bought a vhs tape of pilates exercises from Walgreens. Problem is the sign he has out front on the lawn advertising it says "Nekkid Plates" since Uncle Tank was never much competition at Scrabble. So people just think he's having a weird garage sale where he's only selling overstocked plates that have nicks and scratches in them.
That explains a lot. Tank was peeing on a bush outside my house this morning and when I asked him what he was doing, he said "cleaning the scepter".
Actually, he was telling the truth. He found this piece of brass-covered tubing, I'm guessing it must've been part of a headboard on a bed frame or something. Anyways, it was messed up, it had been around back of the apartment complex, stuck in the dirt and it had some weird fungus growing on it. So, Uncle Tank, in his resourcefulness remembered how somebody told him you could pee on your feet to help get rid of foot fungus. So my guess is he was trying out his technique near your place. Sorry bout that.
No harm, no foul. I guess since Uncle Tank's the kinda guy buying groceries at Dollar General, he's probably not up on the whole "Tough actin' Tinactin".
Oh yeah, don't bring that up around him. He has issues with any product or service that calls itself "tough", "strong", or other related adjectives. I think he gets jealous that he's not allowed to bill himself as "Tough Actin' Tank" without facing copyright violations.
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