August 12, 2009

pink is the new black, and cleo is not fat

i'm going to be the "best man (girl)" in an old friend's wedding this summer. it's in little rock, AR in september. i have to find a simple, black cocktail dress. i'm chubby. i'm looking online and ordering a few dresses so i can try them on and return all but 1.

here are some fashion words that make me cringe or confuse me: sleeveless tuck shoulder chiffon tunic, waterfall trapeze blouse, denim shoppe, scoop neck cargo jumpsuit, baby doll shrug, nautical wide pant, ultra lux, pintuck chambry, patty puff sleeve, sheer poet sleeve, peachskin lace bib tunic...
and my favorite: "Bend Over® super stretch pull-on pants" , otherwise known as the "give up on fashion, fat stuff" pants.

i'm actually considering purchasing "leggings". those were my wardrobe staple back in college (1989-ish). i guess they're back in style! maybe i can find stir-up pants and banana clips too?

looking at all the "plus sized", (big gal, husky, more to love, chubby girl) websites has me singing that queen i did a search for "songs about fat girls" and came up with this list:

The Smiths: "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others"
Sir Mix-A-Lot: "Baby Got Back"
Otis Redding: "Fat Gal"
Morrissey: "You're The One For Me Fatty"
Joe Tex: "Ain't Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman)"
NWA: "Fat Girl"
Spinal Tap: "Big Bottom"
Stump: "Big Bottom"

a final note- my blog has more hits by folks searching for "big ass cleo" then anything else. try it on google search and a photo of our dog cleo comes up. (i didn't call cleo fat, fyi, i was refering to a leaf in another pic.)


jnet said...

you could come back to bristol west, we have plenty of banana clips and stirrup pants to go around.

Chris said...

I think you should ifnd a pink and glittery leisure suit, with big velvet collars