January 27, 2008

weekend wrap up.....


we had fun. go to the photoblog to see the pics from copax's happy birthday wig party. the imac photobooth was so much fun. i'll post those pics as well.

copax has some great video shot from within the nook ("act 3") and a cool slideshow. when i got up this morning and saw the fire extinguisher and machete on the table, i said to myself, "now that's a party!"

home.......

having a tv reporter (and camera guy named mike- that's for AV folks...) in our house was...surreal. she said the same thing my friends and family have said. "i could spend all day walking around looking at the cool stuff in here!" she loved the nook and mentioned the warm feeling of the house, something else everyone comments on. it feels good to be here. friends and family make it even better. i love having folks over, sitting back and watching everyone laugh, crowd into the nook for dinner, and just enjoy themselves.

there's a tom waits song that i love so much. it's called, "the house where nobody lives." it's totally sad bastard. but there's a verse where the lyrics get me every time. it makes me think about how lucky i am to have a home i love so much, that i share with someone i love so much. i guess i am feeling all wistful and philosophical these days.... i'm getting mushy and sentimental in my old age!!!! dammit! my next post is going to be something weird and upsetting, i promise!

here's a great clip of tom waits doing the song i love (followed with a bizarre little interview with leno...) and here's a horrible, horrible version of the song by some youtube guy.

and here's the part of the lyrics i love:

so if you find someone
someone to have, someone to hold
don't trade it for silver
don't trade it for gold
i have all of life's treasures
and they are fine and they are good
they remind me that houses
are just made of wood
what makes a house grand
ain't the roof or the doors
if there's love in a house
it's a palace for sure

more on WLS.......

well, my story hasn't aired yet, and i am already blown away by the few responses i've gotten. i've talked to a friend i met having WLS, who i lost touch with. she's been through much of the same painful experiences that i've been talking about. she knows of many others as well. there's a support group in town just for people who've had the surgery and are gaining all their weight back. i also got my first anonymous comment (on the last WLS post) that said the same thing my friend emailed me, "i'm reading your story and crying...i went through almost the same thing!"

i thought i was the only one. these people have been hiding and ashamed, thinking they were the only ones. and maybe the hospitals doing this surgery don't know how many of us have gained a lot of weight back, since we all have been in hiding.

it almost feels like coming out of the closet. isn't that odd?

something else i've learned: the cleveland clinic is doing a medical trial for something called "restore". i can find no real info online, but i have the PDF from someone who applied to be part of the trial.

basically, part of the original WLS is to attach the new, smaller stomach pouch to the intestines, with a small opening (or stoma). this make it harder for food to pass, so you feel fuller longer. apparently, a lot of people are finding that this stoma is stretching out, and the cause for weight gain in a lot of us. so this "restore" procedure allows the doctor to go in using a flexible tube down your throat, and re-stitch the stoma to make it smaller again.

the friend who told me about this, started to apply to be part of the trials, then decided not to. she felt very torn about it. i can see why. when i first heard about this new procedure, i was pissed. i mean, the surgery we had was supposed to work! now they want us to go back for more??? then i started to think, "maybe i should consider doing this..." and then i got pissed again.

no, i am not going back to these doctors for any more procedures. i'm not going to let my inner peace, that i worked hard to find, be taken away. i won't put any hopes into some new procedure. i mean, these are clinical trials, so there's no long term data to show if it works, or if there are potentially dangerous side effects.

sigh....... i need to jump in the shower and go get some starbucks.... and stop thinking about all this WLS stuff for a while..... my big head is just spinning!