July 29, 2014

How I see myself and how I see you...

My trip to NYC is rapidly approaching.  6 days from today!  I'm super excited, but also have this nagging feeling that I didn't "meet my goals" for the trip.  I wanted to cut back on wine, fast food, etc... Hit the gym more.  To get in the best shape possible before I board that plane to New York.

Of course I got too busy and didn't do anything of that stuff.  My "inner critic" is saying all kinds of bad stuff, as you can imagine.  Fat, lazy, loser all floating around in my brain.

I have friends and family who struggle with their weight.  I would say that 70-80% of everyone I know thinks they are "too fat".  We all walk around assuming all anyone notices about us is our fat.

But when I think of my friends, I don't see fat.  I see beautiful people!  I see their expressions, what kind of mood they're in.  I see their amazing smiles.

"Oh, you got a new haircut!"

"Are you feeling ok?"

"Your eyes are so sparkly."

So it's time for me to stop seeing how fat I am.  I'm accepting my body as is.  With room for improvement?  Sure.  But I'm done feeling bad at it.

I'd like to eat healthier more than I eat crap.  And if I really want to eat something "bad for me", I'm going to enjoy it and make it count.

I'd like to move my body more, just to feel better.  Even just going for walks.

But enough of the anxiety and worry over trying to hide that I'm fat.  Or feeling ashamed to eat a cheeseburger with the guys at work.

I'm going to wear sleeveless shirts, skirts, and stop trying to hide my body.

Hey world, I'm fat and I'm happy with life!!!

This article came up in my news feed today and it is just perfect.


vivalarobot said...

I just typed a long ass comment and I don't see it. Have I turned into mom?! LOL

Jen said...

Yes, you're mom!!! Now please re-type your long ass comment.

vivalarobot said...

I was basically saying how I feel the same way about our upcoming vacation. I was stressing about not being where I wanted to be (weight wise). Especially since I'm going to wear a bathing suit for the first time in years. But you know what, I'm going to swim in the ocean for the first time so F "too fat". Hell, I may ever wear shorts! In public! There was more to my comment before but one it's past my bedtime. Have fun in NYC!!

Jen said...

Thanks Jennette. That comment made my day.