September 14, 2007

disturbing work conversations

ok, here's how it all started: a work friend said she liked my shirt, then proceeded to feel my sleeve, to see if it was "as soft as it looked." apparently is was, because she giggled and said i felt "charmin soft!"
here's where it all goes terribly wrong: she asks us if we've tried the new "more hefty" charmin. um....no. so she then makes me go online to look it up and i am presented with this:
how does one decide??? we start reading the descriptions and apparently charmin ultra strong "helps the clean stay with you!" huh? the ultra soft version lets you use less, "but it will feel so good, you'll want to use more!" HUH????
then there's a whole other variety. i start reading them off (there's charmin basic, charmin with lotion, charmin cinnamon raisin, HUH???)
ok, i made up that last one. it got a big laugh too. because by this time, there were at least 10 people crowded around my desk, joining in on the conversation.

we then start reading the FAQs, and find out this exciting info:

Q. The plies on my Charmin Ultra are not lined up, it’s not tearing in the right place.
A. If the plies on your Charmin Ultra rolls aren't lining up, here's how to fix it:
- Hold the roll in front of you with the paper winding over the top
- Pull the top ply up and drop it back behind the roll
- Its perforations should match with the layer that's now on top
- Tear away the excess and you're good to go

i stopped listening when the discussion turned to septic tanks. i supposedly have a septic tank in my very own basement, but i prefer to pretend it's not there.

so now, instead of doing any actual work, i am on wikipedia, reading about the history of toliet paper.

14 comments:

David L. Reynolds said...

"Q. The plies on my Charmin Ultra are not lined up, it’s not tearing in the right place." To be able to quote that from anyone, in any context... That is just wrong.

SDS said...

I am TOTALLY, predicatbly, against the whole concept of premium bum wiping products. Toilet paper is toilet paper, and soft? Okay. But who wants to wipe with paper the consistency of a big swatch of dryer lint? Dirty! Ridges? That's for potato chips, dammit!

Toilet paper and diapers get disposed of, period. And paying extra for them is like wiping your bum with dolla bills!

glittergirl said...

there was also a FAQ for the age old arguement about which direction to hang the roll. i left that info out, so as not to start any new blog wars. LOL!

glittermom said...

I was left out in the cold when they stopped sending the Sears catalog...

glittermom said...

GLITTERGIRL are you nuts? You do not have a septic tank in your basement(a poop shed)...you have a SUMP PUMP to drain off any incoming water from the ground...Good Lord do you even know whats down there? Stick to cleaning out your cupboards...

glittergirl said...

a poop shed?

septic tank, sump pump, you tomato, i say tomado...

SDS said...

You two are Both NUTS! A septic tank is a big holding tank that's buried underground in areas without community sewers.

It holds all the goo until enzymes break it down. Then you hire a truck to come suck it out. It's giant, the size of the dorm closet I used to hide in when I had gas and Jennifer was laughing at me.

It is not the same as an outhouse or a sump pump.

glittergirl said...

ok, ENOUGH!!!

ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why am i suprised that the conversation that was bad at work, has gone to a whole new level of horrible on the blog?

i don't wanna talk about none of it!!!

except the memory of stacy used to hide in when she got real gassy.

ah, good times.....

glittermom said...

I know what a septic tank is...I just called it a poop shed because thats what goes in it...I see the comericals on tv where they are digging in the yard that is flooded with waste because it wasn't taken care of...

glittermom said...

Once again Glittergirl has cause a controversy on her blog...If it isn't cabbage rolls its septic tanks...go figure...

david-reynolds said...

Ya'll are making me LMAO!!

glittergirl said...

here's a question: would you eat sauerkraut w/ cabbage rolls while sitting on top of a sump pump using charmin extra heavy duty or super bad-ass soft?

glittermom said...

Yes I believe I would....and I believe I have...

SDS said...

You need to make a Dr. Seuss book about it. Michael Myers needs to put in a cameo.