March 12, 2006

the internet is weird!!!!

the internet is just plain wacko! i started off researching lewis black online. saw him live last night and he was amazing. so i start on wikipedia (of course) and start reading about the daily show. i end up on a craig kilbourne fansite, with a whole collection of images called "angel craig". this poor girl has about 100 images of kilbourne to which she has added wings, hearts and teddy bears. i worry for the poor girl's mental health! and yes, that's saying something coming from a freak like me.

my favorite lewis black quote from wiki:

When from behind me, a woman of 25 uttered the dumbest thing I'd ever heard in my life ... She said, 'If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.' I'll repeat that. I'll repeat that because that's the kind of sentence that when you hear it, your brain comes to a screeching halt. And the left hand side of the brain looks at the right hand side and goes, 'It's dark in here, and we may die.' She said, 'If it weren't for my horse...' as in, giddy up, giddy up, let's go - 'I wouldn't have spent that year in college,' a degree-granting institution. Don't! Don't think about that sentence for more than three minutes, or blood'll shoot out your nose. The American medical profession doesn't know why we get an aneurysm. It's when a blood vessel bursts in our head for no apparent reason. There's a reason. You're at the mall one day, and somebody over there says the dumbest thing you've ever heard and it goes in your ear. So you turn around to see if your friends heard it, cause if your friends heard it, and you can talk about what the jackass said, then it'll be gone. But your friends are over here, pretending they're gonna buy a cellular phone, and they're not gonna buy a cellular phone, because they don't even understand how the rate structure works. So you turn back, to find the person who said it, because if you can ask 'em a question like, 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!' then it'll go away. But they're gone. And now those words are in your head. And those words don't go away. Cause the way I see it, 7% of our brains functions all the time, because 99% of everything that happens is the same old stuff. We get it. All right. Move on. Get it. Right. But every so often, somethin' like that happens: 'If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.' So your brain goes, 'LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! Son of a bitch! I wonder what that's about!' I wonder, was she riding the horse to school? No, she wouldn't be riding the horse to school. Maybe it was a polo pony; she had a polo pony scholarship. Maybe she sold the horse and that's how she - she was betting on the horse! WHAT THE FUCK?!! And then you realize that anybody who went to college would never say anything that stupid in public. And as soon as you have that thought, your eyes close and the next morning they find you dead in your bathroom. - The White Album

3 comments:

Primordial Dork said...

Dude, that quote is way too long to fit up under your tagline.

Primordial Dork said...

My favorite overheard quote ever was in a thater during "Last of the Mohicans" when a teenage girl said of Daniel Day-Lewis character,

"That guy would be really cute if he would just like wash his hair."

Indians don't use shampoo, you dumb fuck! Neither did white people then!

GLITTERGIRL said...

once david and i overheard an argument at a bus stop in columbus. the lady screamed and threw the other lady's purse into the street and said, "well, i'm handicapped too!!!"

it was like something out of a john waters movie....