some rules on fashion, food, and life, or how i became old & cranky...

i know i'm not big on following rules. i've been know to shout, "rules for for fools!!!" but sometimes in life, you need to have some boundaries. here are my rules for life:

1. a cardigan sweater should never be short-sleeved

2. fruit should never be combined with meat

3. clamato &V8 juice should not exist. it's cold vegtable soup, not something to drink.

4. ladies, do not wear white pantyhose, ever

5. when you are walking in a parking lot, stay off your cell phone. if i hit you, it's your own damn fault.

6. don't slurp your beverage, smack your lips or chew with your mouth open in public. if i snap & kill you, it's your own damn fault.

7. do not blow your nose at your desk

8. mind your business

9. when you're in line at the grocery store, be nice and put the divider down for the person behind you

10. be polite. say please and thank you. hold the door for folks. don't act like an ass.

11. ladies, do not get your hair "permed" (this is for the ladies, although if it was 70's i'd include men. remember when the brady boys all got perms in the 4th season?)

12. men, "ironic" mustaches & white man afros are only funny for a day or 2 around halloween. after that it's lame.

13. don't assume everyone believes in god

14. don't discuss child birth, religion, sex, or politics at work, on the bus, or in line at the grocery. save it for a blog or something!

15. don't ask for a bunch of exceptions when ordering from a menu. it's ok to ask for one thing, like no onions or extra cheese. if you're asking for 3 or 4 variations, then order something else from the menu! if you order a "cheesy onion chicken sandwich" and ask the waiter to hold the cheese and onions, you suck. no one has time to change an entire recipe or put 1/2 the ingredients on the side, etc...

16. do not heat fish in the microwave

17. don't tug on superman's cape, don't pee into the wind, don't pull the mask off that old lone ranger and don't mess around with jen.....