here's a heartwarming story for the holidays.....
i was at work yesterday, and expecting a call from my doctor. i had my cell phone ringer on so i wouldn't miss the call. (if i put it on vibrate, it goes off when i get emails, so i had to have it on the ringer, but a quiet ring.)
around 3pm, my phone rang. it was a little kid asking for nicky. i said, "sorry, you've got the wrong number" and hung up.
the phone rang 2 seconds later. "i wanna talk to nicky!" the young voice said. i very patiently said, "sorry, i think you're dialing the wrong number. i'm jennifer. what number are you trying to call?"
"um....i wanna talk to nikki! gimme her number!!!!" the kid is now raising his voice. he sounds really young, like maybe 7 or 8.
"sorry dude, i don't know who nicky is. can you ask your mom or someone to help you dial the phone?"
i hear some mumbling and he hangs up. i turn off my ringer and watch 4 calls come in, one right after the other. the calls come up as "unknown" with caller ID blocked.
i leave work and when i get to my car, i see there's a voice mail. i worried i'd missed my doctor's phone call, so i play the message before i start my car.
here's the message i heard: "hi nicky, i mean jennifer. i wanna talk to that f*cking nicky. i'm trying to call that b*tch. mother f*cker. bitch. bitch."
do people still spank kids? because i want to find this kid and get him in so much trouble!
18 comments:
Uhhh?? And the obvious question is...why didn't you say you were that bitch Nicky and keep the kid going? I'm positive THAT would have added some more comedic gold to your story.
Yah Nicky!
"Why are you doing this to me? Nicky died 3 years ago?!?!"
"I'm sorry, Nicky can't come to the phone right now, she's tied up in the baseme"
"Nicky just stepped out to go to the abortion clinic, can I take a message?"
those are great ideas, but here's what i went with:
i looked at the call log and there were 10 "unknown" calls, but in the middle there was 1 with a 216 area code.
i just took a chance and dialed the number. an adult answered. paydirt!
me: hello. i'm calling because i got a ton of calls on my cell phone yesterday, and they might have been coming from your house.
them: huh? who is this???
me: my name is jennifer. i got about 10 calls yesterday, from a little boy, around 3pm. do you have a little boy over there?
them: hold on.
(i hear yelling in the background. something about "john, get on the phone, anthony is in trouble!!!")
them: hi, i'm his grandfather. now what happened?
me: well, a little boy was calling looking for someone named nicky. he called a few times. he left me a voicemail calling me a..... fucking bitch.
them: oh my god!
me: (giggling in my mind...)
them: he does have a friend named nicky! he was here by himself when i went to the grocery and... we didn't raise him to talk like that! i'm so sorry!
me: it's ok. no biggie.
them: it is a big deal. he'll be dealt with. you have a blessed thanksgiving.
i think that kid's gonna get a "6 pack of whoop-ass" unleashed on him. yes...... and i am laughing!!!!
OMG!! You are such a fucking bitch! You got him in trouble!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
his grandparents sound like they do not mess around. his ass is grass.
i love it.
Yeah, I'm just playing. He deserves to get whupped upside the head with a frying pan.
yeah, we're pro-child beating here on my blog!!!
:)
Hell yes. I got beat once, and that one time was enough for me to realize that I was not to do something that I felt my parents wouldn't agree with (while I was living under their roof)
We need to hear the rest of this story....
I'm a firm believer in spanking children, dogs, cats, and household insects.
Ah, pixie. You still got it in ya!
The sad thing is, Anthony was just trying to call his grandma to ask her to remember the Mike and Ike's she promised him for being a good boy. He just transposed the last 2 numbers. Now, Johnny was the little bastard that kept calling you from an unlisted number because he knows that there's no way you could track him down for rampantly abusing the telephone system. So, good job, GG! You got poor little Anthony a mouthful of soap and an ass-ful of boot and Johnny just laaaaughed himself to sleep.
mojito= johnny.
Motherbitch, f*cker, bitch.
jesus christing fuck!! we're all gonna die!!!
hahahahahaahahahaha!!!! jesus christing fuck!!!!
seriously, when are we going to reenact those pics of the cats and dog flipping out?
:)
I'm ready whenever you guys are
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