the couch, a series of images, do's & dont's

the new red couch is exciting. it's the first major purchase we've made as a couple. and while i sit here waiting for the furniture to arrive, i'm waxing poetic (see post below) and now making a red couch collage! this will illustrate the rules to be followed when in the presence of said furniture. please memorize these rules!

the couch may not be put in the ocean (or lake). it's not water proof, duh! go find some other couch for your trippy, badly shot senior picture!

this person is not allowed on the couch. ever. they look like they would stick and leave makeup smudges. (maybe a friend of bubble boys?)

no crying asian babies on the couch. in fact, no babies at all!

no smiling white ladies in smart business suits on the couch. if they cry, then maybe they can stay.


the couch must stay inside. please do not fly it to london for an artsy photo shoot in from of a row of flats.

no stippers in fur boots are allowed on the couch. especially with spray-on tabs.

doris day is always allowed on the couch. duh!

naked emo person not allowed. put some clothes on my sad little friend, and you're welcome to stay. unless that's fresh ink....then hit the road!

old lady laughing on cell phone, off the couch! i see that smart business suit you're wearing!

this final pics is a combo of my rules mentioned above. no babies, no strippers in boots, no plaid, no stripper babies in paid w/ bare feet.

them's the rules.