the gift of insomnia...

i've blogged (and complained) a lot about my lifelong struggle with insomnia.  and then my almost decade long use of ambien.  i finally stopped taking ambien in 2011.  i got a tempurpedic mattress.  and i stopped worrying so much about not sleeping.

a bad night's sleep won't kill me.  sooner or later i'll fall asleep.  so no sense in letting it run my life.

then i joined the gym.  i found that i loved swimming & deep water jogging.  exercising helped me sleep a little better.  

i rented a locker at the gym and stocked it with all my shower stuff, make-up etc... i started going to swim before work, around 6 or 7am most mornings.

i had a few rough nights of sleep, and kept waking up around 3 or 4am, and i'd try to force myself back to sleep.  it rarely worked, and if i did fall back asleep i'd wake up feeling crappy.

so i tried something new.  the next time i woke up at 3am, i just got out of bed.  i did the dishes, hung out with the dogs, and got to the gym when they opened at 5am.  i got 45 minutes of swimming and still had time to get breakfast before work.

and that changed my life.

i sleep better some nights.  and if i wake up at 3am, there's so much to do!  i get the iPad out and draw or read books.  i hang out with the dogs.  i catch up on chores.  i discover new movies.  TCM playes some really strange movies at 4am.

yesterday morning i stumbled onto a film that took my breathe away:

insomnia is a gift.