hello....um...... is my new red couch there???? huh? yeah, i know you said it would be here between 2pm-4pm, and it's 1:59pm now..... but i need that couch!!!!! my life has been on hold for days now, just waiting for this furniture that is going to change my life! it's not just a couch...oh no..... we went for the love seat too. a young couple in love needs a love seat! i've moved everything out of the way so the movers can get the furniture in easily. i've given the dogs a heavy sedative so that no one is distracted. they'll be out like lights til monday! i keep looking out the window, and twice now i've seen "other" furniture trucks. value city's big yellow truck mocks me..... i think they are driving by just to taunt me. "hahahahaha, look at that girl with no red couch!" it's ok. i can wait. i'm not obsessed at all. i know i called at 1:59pm, but it's clearly after 2pm now! 2:04 to be exact. am i going to get a discount for the 4 minutes of my life without the red couch????
well, it's been over 10 minutes now and i feel like you're just toying with my emotions. i'm going to go sit on the 15 year old tan couch with holes and dog slobber, and i'll enjoy it! you think i need beautiful, soft red suede sofa to make my life complete? think again, couch creeps! maybe i'll cancel the entire order and buy 10-15 bean bags. yeah, how'd ya like them apples????
Well, it's now 3:13 p.m. The anticipation is killing me. Did you get it yet??
ReplyDeleteno couch. it's like i told dan, "i think those movers are mocking us. they're driving up and down munson, jumping on our loveseat. it's like they're mocking our love!!!!!!"
ReplyDeletecopax has suggested i start drinking box wine while i wait.
Dan: take an ambien, put on the michael myers mask and get in your undies have some religious channel cranked on the tv.
ReplyDeletecopax: haha, standing in the door way, a bent cigarette dangling from your lips, rum stained lingerie, as you hold the box of wine in your hand. every now and then you raise the box up to your lips and drink a sip directly from the box
as the movers run frightened from the house, you stumble out chasing them "HEY! WAIT! I want you to viola hick I want you to violin hick I want you to do shtuff to me!" you trip over a rock your slipper flying off, the box o' wine smashing to the ground, breaking open. You pick up the bladder of wine out of the cardboard, noticing a hole in the bottom. You hold the bag above your head, drinking the drizzling wine stream as you hold a slipper in the other hand.
(uncle tank's dream girl!)
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ReplyDeleteyou beat me to it. I was gonna paste in the same comments
ReplyDeletewhat if the couch arrives and it's purple, or stinky? am i gonna pitch a veruka salt fit? yes.....
ReplyDeleteit's not even funny anymore..... the clock says 3:50pm, and sadly, no red couch. the dogs have stopped wagging their tails and all is said in dan-jenville.
ReplyDeletein 10 minutes it will be late. late, fate, hate..... a poem.
oh how i suffer.....
ohmygod. it is 4:45. is the couch there?!?!?
ReplyDeletei say go directly for the rum and cokes!!