i am always starting off stories to groundcat, saying, "did i ever tell ya about the time....?" and god knows i repeat my stories. we all know and love the old favorite, "the time i fell and farted loudly in the lockroom of the YMCA" story. and "the time i accidentally sprayed butter flavored pam in my eyes" story. and who can forget the holiday classic, "the time i cut my underwear off in the work bathroom and the giant scissors fell out of my sleeve" tale? well, there was a new one last night, one i thought i'd share with my blog pals.
and so begins tonight's tale.......
"did i ever tell ya about the time i accidentally stole yogurt from a diabetic person???"
ok, i was working crazy hours at this time. like 50-60 hours a week. i would pack a bag of snacks and food to bring in on mondays. i sometimes forgot about the food and it would get thrown out at the end of the month. but i liked having it there for late nights. i was trying to eat healthy and would bring yogurt. i loved the yoplait key lime flavored yogurt the best.
one day i got stuck at work late, like 10pm. i was exhausted and hungry. i hadn't brought snacks that week, but thought there might be stuff in there from the week before. i saw a lime yogurt and grabbed it. when i ate it, i realized it might not be mine, because i normally got the "light" version (with aspartame instead of sugar.) i was worried, but was already eating the yogurt and figured it was not a big deal.
the next morning i came in, thinking about the yogurt. i thought i could leave a note saying, "hey, i think i ate someone's yogurt by mistake, sorry!" but that seemed silly. then i saw the note taped to the fridge door. typed, in bold letters.
"to whom it may concern,
i am a diabetic. yesterday, someone ate my lime yogurt from this refridgerator. i could have gone into a diabetic coma! what if my blood sugar dropped and i needed to eat that? i could have ended up in the hospital!!! so whoever stole my yogurt, you should be ashamed of yourself!!!"
i was pissed at that point. it had been an honest mistake. i noticed this "angry diabetic yogurt enthusiest" had also stocked the entire top shelf of the fridge door with yogurt.
and maybe, i might have taken the 1 lime yogurt from the door and moved it to the back of another shelf...... just for shits and giggles.......
Not only are you against curing someone of Cancer by wearing your jeans to work but now your killing diabetic people? Is this how I raised you?
ReplyDeleteI've never actually heard the Underwear Scissorhands story. Tell us that one, Mommy!
ReplyDelete